tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6332440627389853732024-03-05T21:37:04.576+00:00Fealte and RosebudThe simple life of childhood, divine dishes and life in Blighty...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.comBlogger103125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-31236852256382026822013-01-29T20:06:00.002+00:002013-01-29T20:06:15.969+00:00New Home...Feeling rather guilty as I abandon Blogger after three years and make my way to a, slightly, slicker blog site at Wordpress....Forgive me Blogger.....but still chase me....<br />
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My new home is <a href="http://fealteandrosebud.wordpress.com/">http://fealteandrosebud.wordpress.com</a><br />
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Adieu...<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-13610417209724536352013-01-22T11:58:00.001+00:002013-01-22T12:16:51.541+00:00Look at my muffins...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaLdud86iVBFbQHmcRKkJon7AHG3etzUs8pSu54YfOhKaHF31xx-z5Aic0FeAnBCg8XCfBr0wT0_idnFAg8ZqP8HhgQWLT9TtxY4AMun9JA2NmkB79pqnIZzZ1-2BgaZy8aktLbpa3KGri/s1600/IMG_4152.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaLdud86iVBFbQHmcRKkJon7AHG3etzUs8pSu54YfOhKaHF31xx-z5Aic0FeAnBCg8XCfBr0wT0_idnFAg8ZqP8HhgQWLT9TtxY4AMun9JA2NmkB79pqnIZzZ1-2BgaZy8aktLbpa3KGri/s320/IMG_4152.jpg" width="239" /></a>My muffins rose up into the heady heights at the top of the oven - lordy, they did look mighty fine.<br />
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You cannot, quite, see how extraordinarily massive they are - but trust me they were whizz bangers - being of a healthy temperament - they were sweetened not with sugar, hell no, but with banana, blueberries and a squirt of bee juice.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuG87jZllSuAY0aDM6snWeGKbn2giZqSHNHHJdF5U0sTcM_agNWpZ5Ci1AHAKCNFBFEJgM_gVv1R2m5Pzt284pha9d4ok62S4lfLrtFwnmKvFd3IhygSb_RdzSSaWFm-78M0FWtxdv4mOh/s1600/IMG_4156.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuG87jZllSuAY0aDM6snWeGKbn2giZqSHNHHJdF5U0sTcM_agNWpZ5Ci1AHAKCNFBFEJgM_gVv1R2m5Pzt284pha9d4ok62S4lfLrtFwnmKvFd3IhygSb_RdzSSaWFm-78M0FWtxdv4mOh/s320/IMG_4156.jpg" width="239" /></a>Sadly, los ninos, did not appreciate this fruit-filled humdinger.<br />
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In the heat the blueberries had burst and their juice had stained the muff insides with streaks of a green deportment...sadly I had to eat the majority...<br />
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So if you fancy a green stained muffin here is the recipe, you could, of course, leave out the blueberries - or just serve them to adults who won't, presumably...complain about colour?<br />
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Banana & Blueberry Muffins<br />
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250 g Plain Flour<br />
2 tspns Baking Powder<br />
1/2 tspn Ground Cinnamon<br />
2 Bananas mashed<br />
Handful or so of Blueberries<br />
3 tbspns Honey<br />
3 tbspns Vegetable Oil<br />
1 Egg<br />
185ml Milk<br />
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Cinnamon, sugar and oats to garnish<br />
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Method<br />
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Preheat your oven to 180C. Sift the dry ingredients into a bowel - add a pinch of salt. Mash up the banana and add to the dry ingredients, gently stir through the blueberries. Whisk the honey, oil, egg and milk together before adding to the dry ingredients - combine.<br />
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Spoon into muffin cases and sprinkle the tops with a mix of cinnamon, sugar and oats - bake for twenty minutes - serve with a large cup of milky coffee immediately - bon appetit!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-15660943309788337312013-01-18T15:43:00.001+00:002013-01-18T15:46:04.665+00:00Adieu mon LittleLAB...until...February<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span lang="EN-US">This week <a href="http://www.littlelab.co.uk/" target="_blank">LittleLAB</a>, a dynamic new make-up and skincare brand, said farewell to its customers at Bath's Little Southgate, before it moves its self, its products and its groove to Milsom Place. The farewell party was aided by a supposedly sophisticated, and charming French cocktail, which proved wicked; one part vodka, one part champagne and one part soda - topped off with a slice of lemon and an alarming amount of sponge fingers, which, apparently, Le Frogs use to dip into said aperitif...</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">LittleLAB aims to lure the gals, and the gents, out of the traditional
department store setting and into its modern and cutting edge pop-up jungle. The store swathed in white with strategically placed vintage shop counters, display, in a minimal fashion, its luscious and high end brands including LA's Mud, Italy's Milkshake brand and a host of other delectable, French, LA and NYC goodies.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi23wo0bgpAKhTeUFnBM5fWHWgG-4Z0u_M4Js0SGeGgOjfihQ0hZGVA3uo-fJLwanh3bSMmpo2S7sKWYoebI3tirmT64rMwclieCXns5_FgXBTULc3BmbRzxHSvCxxvmUqT6XR7XAbUJMSH/s1600/IMG_45266.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi23wo0bgpAKhTeUFnBM5fWHWgG-4Z0u_M4Js0SGeGgOjfihQ0hZGVA3uo-fJLwanh3bSMmpo2S7sKWYoebI3tirmT64rMwclieCXns5_FgXBTULc3BmbRzxHSvCxxvmUqT6XR7XAbUJMSH/s320/IMG_45266.jpg" width="320" /></a><span lang="EN-US">Dreamt up and founded by, the delightful, Kat Spreadbury who, at just 28 years old, is about to launch her second pop-up
shop in Bath’s Milsom Place. Kat, who trained under the auspicious wings of Patrice
Miranda – chief make-up artist to Madonna and Sir Paul McCartney – to name drop
just a few of her famous clients, learnt invaluable insider
knowledge, which she is now sharing with everyone who comes into LittleLAB. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">In the back of the store stands a
ubiquitous table, surrounded with comfortable chairs, the table-top houses many
mirrors, all manner of brushes and, if its the evening, and a group of friends
have booked a workshop, there will be a collection of wine glasses, a bottle or
two, some tasty nibbles and plenty of giggles, all surrounding this clever and
unique aspect of LittleLAB’s brand concept.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3PvrbF2aEs3B25ahrXg0nXdSSO6OSpEEj-PvpvlrfdUp9idFwdRcYRONldwqY4tbaX5Zt8XCf1ZRQnPUD2WxlKRe5SDP1pU7aHrG1tabtC3z003cPX4kUDw9XL6bhemcqx009AJP03EZ9/s1600/IMG_4120.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3PvrbF2aEs3B25ahrXg0nXdSSO6OSpEEj-PvpvlrfdUp9idFwdRcYRONldwqY4tbaX5Zt8XCf1ZRQnPUD2WxlKRe5SDP1pU7aHrG1tabtC3z003cPX4kUDw9XL6bhemcqx009AJP03EZ9/s320/IMG_4120.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">During one of the LittleLAB workshops
Katherine and her trained team demonstrate how to apply make-up, how to achieve
a desired look and encourage customers to re-discover their look at this
innovative school, learning some essential, professional tips along the way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">“Our customers love the workshops they
think it is fantastic to be in a relaxed environment, making them feel at ease
and learning new tricks,” says Katherine of her workshop clients, and her tips
for 2013? “Always use a lip brush to get an even application, and mix your lip
glosses with your lipsticks to get a sheer finish.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Kat aims to make LittleLAB an experience that is laid back, friendly and without the: "dreaded sell". </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF8NwXErMx3xY2b5keL0eCM-6Y78D4xjnHw8SwyJX2Pm3qwgoyjVDEaRdOZEkVHJopSflTRTZVVNIiUNmJkMb54WP8eh16XZJTv5FF5fI0REosvDTypx7KX5iDhBtSCGieb_gOoYF0yLqp/s1600/IMG_3062.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF8NwXErMx3xY2b5keL0eCM-6Y78D4xjnHw8SwyJX2Pm3qwgoyjVDEaRdOZEkVHJopSflTRTZVVNIiUNmJkMb54WP8eh16XZJTv5FF5fI0REosvDTypx7KX5iDhBtSCGieb_gOoYF0yLqp/s320/IMG_3062.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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And after my night of French cocktails, hot lipstick and giggles I think she might just nail it. </div>
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<a href="http://www.littlelab.co.uk/" target="_blank">LittleLAB</a>'s second pop-up store will open on February 4th in Bath's Milsom Place.</div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-47227042598091011262013-01-09T15:07:00.002+00:002013-01-09T15:11:04.517+00:00Salted Peanut Caramel Brittle<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxcHDpKVhrR-lgrAFIvU6-cEhh5qYW3W2VxONwe7qBR_aHjtHtXU6LXGmmAK9WkQj0NY4r_FbgaA_zvyzp0TM6r998y2P4y78KjGUOAXIaw_KOVA_enc6egbxcnm5eSVMP2A_LzUImaeHs/s1600/IMG_3965.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxcHDpKVhrR-lgrAFIvU6-cEhh5qYW3W2VxONwe7qBR_aHjtHtXU6LXGmmAK9WkQj0NY4r_FbgaA_zvyzp0TM6r998y2P4y78KjGUOAXIaw_KOVA_enc6egbxcnm5eSVMP2A_LzUImaeHs/s320/IMG_3965.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Salted Peanut Caramel - ready to give as a gift</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I have become obsessed with the making of this insanely divine but terribly, mischievously, naughty scrumdiddly. <br />
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I meant to post this recipe before Christmas, obviously - not after, when no-one in their abstinent, streamlined, January minds is, surely, going to knock up a massive pile of nectarous, crunchy, irresistible manna.<br />
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But then again, I thought, maybe they will. </div>
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I have a major habit of making Salted Peanut Caramel as a Christmas foodie gift for friends so they can sink their pegs into this outrageously addictive delicacy. But I often wonder if I make such regular batches of it - just so I can, unconsciously, stuff my North and South with said scrumdiddly whilst packing it for the joy of others...hmmm.</div>
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The secret to making this just right is simple. To make a caramel brittle and set you must reach the right super-high temperatures and to do that you must have steely grim determination, as boiling molten sugar is monsterously dangerous, especially with small children around - do not lick the spoon for gods sake!</div>
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I live by my thermometer - thanks Lakeland - sorry. But this inexpensive device means you get it right everytime. And that is my simple rule to streamlined perfect caramel brittle, or honeycomb - for that matter, tout le temps.</div>
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Salted Peanut Caramel Brittle</div>
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250 grams of salted peanuts (you can use any nut here, obviously, donut)<br />
200 grams of sugar<br />
150 grams (or two large tablespoons of golden syrup)<br />
25 grams of butter<br />
1tspn of pure Vanilla paste or extract<br />
1 tspn Bicarbonate of Soda<br />
60 mls Water<br />
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Method<br />
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Gently heat the sugar, water and golden syrup in a sturdy pan - bring it up to the boil.<br />
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When this gleaming golden mixture is boiling - place your thermometer into the pan and turn the heat UP! Stand back and let this baby go wild - it will boil and steam and just about get hotter than is sensible in a domestic kitchen with annoying husbands making tea and tres sproglets - but trust me well worth it - so try and keep the door shut...<br />
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Your looking to hit about 155C to get the hard crack, which is what we're after cadillacs.<br />
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When you hit that number take the pan off the heat pour in the nuts, the butter, the bicarb and the vanilla and whisk it up so the butter has melted the nuts are even and the bicarb has mixed and bubbled and done its chemical whoring.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNCjltQjYmeNFVgM7rV80brhKf-wUuVSyyJhUUOlIdZoqeTm0t8KhIAnMtz-6UZpThFcC6_Ifo3ziFZhGZLbizUY-DRfjX2IKUPr5KJKwsuITm8ZXGKrfEiaAtF5p98bQ-y4xJ9_-oj-Jf/s1600/IMG_3962.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNCjltQjYmeNFVgM7rV80brhKf-wUuVSyyJhUUOlIdZoqeTm0t8KhIAnMtz-6UZpThFcC6_Ifo3ziFZhGZLbizUY-DRfjX2IKUPr5KJKwsuITm8ZXGKrfEiaAtF5p98bQ-y4xJ9_-oj-Jf/s320/IMG_3962.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Then pour the golden nutty mixture evenly across that cool stuff you can buy in Lakeland (should they be giving me money for this, constant, blatant spanking?) - AKA magic non-stick liner or bake-o-glide.<br />
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Now just walk away - yup, just walk right out of the room close the door go upstairs, or along the corridor if you live in a bungalow - and sort the washing out, brush your teeth, ring a friend, go check your inbox.<br />
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Leave the mixture for at least 30 minutes - 40, if you can bear it. It needs to cool right down and harden.<br />
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When it has cooled and is rock smashingly hard - you can now re-enter the kitchen. Get your bags or sealed boxes ready and begin to smash this baby right up. Then share it out amongst your bags or boxes and a little for you, of course...see, its good isn't it? What did I tell you.<br />
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The only negative regarding this recipe is that it does not last very well - unless very well sealed in a plastic container - but that shouldn't be too much of a problem.<br />
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Enjoy mon amies!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-81860329552885073282013-01-08T12:18:00.000+00:002013-01-08T12:18:04.666+00:00Happy New YearHappy New Year, Bonne Annee, Feliz Ano Nuevo and all that kind of spluttery.<br />
<br />
The festive season is officially behind us, and as I laid out the school uniforms last night - and hoovered up after the tree was dragged out this morning, I felt a real sense of relief and a sense of excitement as the new year slowly dawns grey and unsure out of the mist, and into the new calendar of our eyes.<br />
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The exhaustion and gluttony is done with and clean living, new beginnings and austerity can commence.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijmSC4WovnjlCUulRfYypPVfm3nnW5WXFA3NoitRoxStfps1UJcZLSy5jpbhWJrX5252YgVh3kgmmPvbcNelw5dy81yGCiRTBL3fdTs7MR2hqkZsypziA8ACwFNOJrydIpcrt3ZpwAjaVK/s1600/P1020389.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijmSC4WovnjlCUulRfYypPVfm3nnW5WXFA3NoitRoxStfps1UJcZLSy5jpbhWJrX5252YgVh3kgmmPvbcNelw5dy81yGCiRTBL3fdTs7MR2hqkZsypziA8ACwFNOJrydIpcrt3ZpwAjaVK/s320/P1020389.JPG" width="320" /></a>Christmas this year held a dark tinge of unwarranted consumerism to it (for me) - I am not sure why - it was no different to last year and with three young children, buying presents in the name of FC*, is what makes it so incredibly exciting for them.<br />
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But in a fit of new hope, and sponging up credit card puddles, I am embarking on a severe no spend scam this year in a bid to save some much needed spondoolicks and to, perhaps, even become a better person for it.<br />
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Being a member of the, so-called, middle classes (I think) and dashing towards middle-age (exactly what age is that? Is it 40 nowadays or 50...? hmmmm) I am constantly driven in a consumer-saturated direction which leads one to want to acquire A LOT: a beautiful home, a fridge full of goodies, a wine rack groaning with grapey goodness, several motors, not to mention shoes, jumpers, thermals and an iPhone....with all this STUFF comes a surfeit of splurging and you definitely begin to lose sight of what actually makes you happy. And, it turns out, its NOT this STUFF.<br />
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I know all this is obvious - and we all know it makes sense, but you have to remind yourself a lot and actually be looking at some rather large bills to realise that feeling safe and secure is not having a load of goods, but actually some savings, a little candour and maybe, even, some control.<br />
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So after reading about the lady who stopped buying clothes for a year and begun to darn, YES - DARN, her socks and stockings. I am going on this mission and I shall keep you well informed of its outcome.<br />
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And so in the name of economy I bid you adieu...<br />
<br />
* FC - Father ChristmasAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-26214392119368994702013-01-07T14:00:00.000+00:002013-01-07T14:00:27.399+00:00Cooking up Trouble <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDaYSrgSY2qIR8HnCLndv7IjT_xZMWnPGbVQHIXhBJFYOETAPXdvKzL4XLJ7y9LP47-o3O5_CCg-kn6oHyQ7edHhxICt8CU0Ds4gIgzPC8N0BQPsvsKUFOfmpkzfTvz8qbFArXg2Zrl97S/s1600/IMG_3975.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDaYSrgSY2qIR8HnCLndv7IjT_xZMWnPGbVQHIXhBJFYOETAPXdvKzL4XLJ7y9LP47-o3O5_CCg-kn6oHyQ7edHhxICt8CU0Ds4gIgzPC8N0BQPsvsKUFOfmpkzfTvz8qbFArXg2Zrl97S/s320/IMG_3975.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
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Its the school holidays and in a fit of joie de vivre I embark on a mission to bake and blast as many edible goodies as we humanly can in one morning.<br />
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Ten minutes into the madness and I'm having palpitations and drinking way to much coffee to keep it together for a situation as ludicrous as this.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; color: black;">"Whose bloody idea was this anyway?" One rants as the little darlings single-handely cover the entire house in cocoa powder. </span></span><br />
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The thing about cooking with your sproglets is that the idea always seems so clever but the scenario is never so sweet.<br />
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The most important thing is to expect the mess, the chaos, the licking, the butter-squidging and sugar thieving and get over yourself - it can easily be cleaned up.<br />
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If your mentally prepared for the madness then you can cajole and roll amongst the flour storm and sugar frenzy without to much flusteration.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-11469040445836575772012-12-18T13:44:00.001+00:002012-12-18T14:54:35.637+00:00Five Essential Tips to get through ChristmasI fantasise that Christmas should be a time for love, laughter, mouldy satsumas and long, wooly socks.<br />
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Surely, there can be nothing more satisfying than snuggling up on the sofa, the wood-burner blazing, the chestnuts roasting, the children pink-cheeked and Father Christmas on the telly - (god bless Raymond Briggs).<br />
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But, in a flash, this homily could turn bloody and dark as relatives totally piss you off and the pile of unwritten Christmas cards begin to haunt your nightly slumber. <br />
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So, in an effort to get you through this time of festive cheer and, cajoling, naked, fear, I have composed my top five festive tips: bon chance, mon amies...<br />
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1 - Plant a whacking great sunny smile on your face, slap the mazzy on your lashes and get the hell out there; however, super steamed off you are, however, hard your head is banging, however, heavy the bloody shopping is: the rain might be trickling down your neck and the car-parking ticket might cost over £10 quid: its all going to be ok - because you ARE happy. Ok? Just repeat: "I am a joyous festive person who is full of cheer".<br />
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2 - I know one should censure the use of alcohol, but it <i>does</i> appear to be restoring my sang-froid this December. With this in mind; break out the snowballs, make sure the mazzy is ON, and slap that old beamer back on your boat-race; Christmas is the season to be jolly. Get some decent wine in the fridge and enjoy a Christmas drink with your buddies - they will make you feel NORMAL.<br />
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3 - As the, actual, day has not yet even appeared, but is slowly, stealthily, creeping towards your tight bucket of sanity (and gently pushing at said bucket) - remember this is the best bit: the build up. The actual day will see you with your arms inside an enormous, naked, pink-fleshed goose, whilst steam and central heating reduce you to a red-faced, middle-aged, old bat with your mazzy sliding down your overly-pink cheeks.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZrGM6qwYuzFucekLIbtq16DSXOvzOs80zgqG4CrjwtjHrlRvNN_2Wdleym0_W8D5J7py1goGBUNWVAG6rDmSJMP7F0AoUPhRTLsRGpq2k9MVWTdtgsNu8qZTH1QaaZybw3OF4cIRDxukO/s1600/P1020361.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZrGM6qwYuzFucekLIbtq16DSXOvzOs80zgqG4CrjwtjHrlRvNN_2Wdleym0_W8D5J7py1goGBUNWVAG6rDmSJMP7F0AoUPhRTLsRGpq2k9MVWTdtgsNu8qZTH1QaaZybw3OF4cIRDxukO/s320/P1020361.JPG" width="320" /></a>4 - Yes, of course, crack open the credit-card and buy presents for all those cousins, the grandmas and grandpops, the teachers and the husbands - but don't forget to buy a little something gorgeous for YOU - lets face it, no-one else will.<br />
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5 - I know I sound miserable and bitter but take joy in this: I do it for YOU - my lovely readers. Have a cracker and for gods sake get out there and bring joy to the world.<br />
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Han xxxx<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-10597987113608663662012-12-04T13:40:00.000+00:002012-12-04T13:40:48.962+00:00Bob & Boo <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://illustrationsbobandboo.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">Bob and Boo</a> is a collaboration between myself and artist <a href="http://courquin.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">Jane Courquin</a>. Together we are working on a children's book based on the characters: Bob & Boo. Below is just a few of the images Jane has produced to go alongside my words. </div>
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We are both incredibly excited about the production - and I hope to be able to share more of our work together with you here. For now you can enjoy a snippet of the story so far <a href="http://illustrationsbobandboo.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">here</a>... <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk7K1-8AHVZXpKWoCvr_FE57gt5gTD_mUJ0XIqyyeBGaMnjy9tQhwrfgtkIqmt8jS5GDVzvtnRB41pjnDsQ4YjNEcaEq6Kav1Mq6i_m6hsWEfhlQA6QsFxHEr5SaPZ6PYjuvSsGNLahOKZ/s1600/B&B+Boo+Binocs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk7K1-8AHVZXpKWoCvr_FE57gt5gTD_mUJ0XIqyyeBGaMnjy9tQhwrfgtkIqmt8jS5GDVzvtnRB41pjnDsQ4YjNEcaEq6Kav1Mq6i_m6hsWEfhlQA6QsFxHEr5SaPZ6PYjuvSsGNLahOKZ/s320/B&B+Boo+Binocs.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-30056775494225724892012-11-16T20:45:00.001+00:002012-11-16T20:48:56.568+00:00Apple and Chilli Jelly <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwMgx9Kr9p-TbG_UG4DlhY_vuMpbTLk-RZITVrl4f9T0h4qsweBOniKMliQ7B47R9SgdGEGLkKBNu47M0ykplx7Xq7VXlm-1syGnHU86I_7A8X9dp9emHnSElGYB-zAJYEWFZqY1cezc9y/s1600/P1030418.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwMgx9Kr9p-TbG_UG4DlhY_vuMpbTLk-RZITVrl4f9T0h4qsweBOniKMliQ7B47R9SgdGEGLkKBNu47M0ykplx7Xq7VXlm-1syGnHU86I_7A8X9dp9emHnSElGYB-zAJYEWFZqY1cezc9y/s320/P1030418.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
It sounds wrong: apple and chilli jelly, but the sweetness of a rotund, juicy, apple jelly spiked with a spine-tingling, hot chilli edge is just, pour moi, the perfect pairing with cheese.<br />
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I am currently in the throes of a love affair with <a href="http://www.ossau-iraty.fr/" target="_blank">Ossau Iraty</a> a French Sheep's milk cheese that is delicate and nutty and sings high and long when saddled with this particular chilli jelly - which is akin to a sweet chilli jam but far, far more sophisticated.<br />
<br />
Where would I be without my trusty jelly-making kit, a pan, a muslin and a wheelbarrow load of local Somerset Apples?<br />
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Apple & Chilli Jelly<br />
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2kg chopped local organic apples - core, peel and all<br />
1lb of soft brown Demerara sugar<br />
1.2 litres water<br />
6-8 dried red chillies pounded to tiny shreds, include the seeds<br />
<br />
<br />
Method<br />
<br />
Slowly cook the apples in a pan with the water until the fruit is soft and mushy. Arrange your jelly stand and very carefully tip the hot fruit mush into the bag.<br />
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Leave to drip, into a container, overnight.<br />
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Measure the liquid, for every 500ml use 450g of brown sugar. Pour into pan - add your chilli, more or less to your taste. Bring to the boil, stirring the contents - when the sugar has melted bring to a rolling boil for a good ten minutes.<br />
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When the jelly has<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=633244062738985373#editor/target=post;postID=3312755544523131173" target="_blank"> hit setting point </a>- use the wrinkle test - immediately decant into hot sterilised jars - leave to cool.<br />
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Enjoy this beautiful, delicate but piquant jelly with your cheese board - baby.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-90513753072904535772012-11-14T13:10:00.001+00:002012-11-14T13:10:40.859+00:00To mesh or not to mesh?<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Getting hitched in the 21st century is not a straightforward affair. Many modern girls who've got a ring on their finger have taken the new high-road; kept hold of their surname and attached their new husbands name to it - creating a double-barrelled extravaganza. Actor Aaron Johnson, for example, changed his name to Aaron Taylor Johnson after he married Sam Taylor Wood - who is herself now Sam Taylor Johnson.<br />
<br />
However, others, more forward-thinking than this, mix theirs up and mesh the two surnames to create an entirely new one. TV presenter Dawn Porter and her actor husband Chris O'Dowd have together become O'Porter, and they are not the only ones, plenty more youngsters are meshing it up.</div>
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Myself; I went old school, took on the new name, as did our children, but only, I thought, in a minimal way, I would not relinquish my soul entirely and continued in my family name with work and with friends. However, as time has crept along - five years of marriage no less - in most paperwork and official detail I am a not of my own origin but of my husbands - and it does grate I am shamed to say as I do not feel like that person at all. </div>
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<br />
In BathLife, last month, I was named: Hannah Newton in public, by jimminy - is that moi? I literally do not associate myself with that name - yet that is actually my name in many parts of my life. But, and I apologise to my out-laws at this point, I do not feel I am she. My heart and soul and very being is very much a Sturgeon and always will be, won't it? Or will it be that as the years roll on, and they appear to super quick, I will eventually morph into that person and become her proper? </div>
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But what about those double-barrel folks and their off-spring; exactly what happens when their son or a daughter get married? Will they add another name onto the barrel or will they whip one off? And who's will be the one to go?<br />
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In Spain, traditionally a child will take on their fathers family name and their mothers family name - yet when they marry often the mothers family name is the one that is eventually lost.<br />
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So should you take on your husbands name and conform to a possibly outmoded and traditional form of identity or perhaps mesh your names to make a new one like Newgeon or Sturton, or double-barrell it up for some fun linguistic flippery?</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-61209570716004975932012-10-29T16:00:00.001+00:002012-12-19T07:59:06.837+00:00Tamarind, Date & Apple ChutneyI am a slut for chutney.<br />
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That mouth-watering, dense, dark brooding heap of glistening fruit and vegetables, sweetness, spice, and vinegar is a heavenly and addictive mash up - that is a cinch to create and will perform with just about anything you can throw at it.<br />
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My batch this year was meant to be a Damson and Apple affair brewed with dark brown muscavado, malt vinegar and lashings of onion seeds - an addictive little darling of a seed that seduces and inspires your taste-buds.<br />
<br />
But damsons, where in hell were the damsons? Lost to that rain slashed summer we inherited this year. <br />
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Call outs to friends and family revealed a real shortage of Autumnal bounty - which for us chutney sluts is a serious kick in the teeth.<br />
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Fortunately, for me, I am great friends with a superior grocer and whilst perusing his wares; picked up a bag of dark Spanish plums, some English cookers and Russet Pears, a couple of French quinces, a bag of juicy fat sultanas and a pile of piquant shallots. At home I pulled out two bags of dark, dark brown sugar, two bottles of English malt vinegar, an entire pot of onion seeds, a large slab of spine-tingling tamarind, a handful of dates, mustard seeds, freshly grated garlic, allspice, cumin seeds, cinnamon, ginger - I pretty much pulled out a host of fine spices and threw them all into my jam pan, alongside the fruit and onions.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz_KLyjp6faphntHYb6deeyhZjDUgsowF8u_8C_BH0qZNOMm2a-nzo2U81jAZ_250aHYwijzQEvdrLrRY9Ln8fw9CLS_1aSItlq32lsOKfJ9zVH8YZkiF8X2uvtgD6_k_ufOwScZqo5DTc/s1600/P1030399.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz_KLyjp6faphntHYb6deeyhZjDUgsowF8u_8C_BH0qZNOMm2a-nzo2U81jAZ_250aHYwijzQEvdrLrRY9Ln8fw9CLS_1aSItlq32lsOKfJ9zVH8YZkiF8X2uvtgD6_k_ufOwScZqo5DTc/s320/P1030399.JPG" width="320" /></a>The easiest and most sensible way to deal with your fruit and shallots is to de-core the fruit - peel the shallots then give them to your whizzing machine, also known as a food processor, to destroy into an evenly, whizzed fine pile.<br />
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Put everything in the pan and bring to the boil, then lower the heat and simmer gently for 2-3 hours, stirring occasionally.<br />
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Your entire kitchen and household will smell of vinegar and spice - but trust me its worth it.<br />
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After a good few hours simmering gently run your wooden spoon through the middle of the chutney - if it leaves a trail that does not immediatly fill with vinegar - but sits gently for a second or two - your chutney is ready to be decanted into warm sterilised jars.<br />
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The simplest way to sterilse jam jars is to wash them well in hot soapy water - then let them dry out slowly in a low oven - leaving them in there until you need to use each one.<br />
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Whack the lid on as fast as you can after filling.<br />
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The best chutney is well matured, mellow and ready for action. At least three months in a cool dark place is preferable.<br />
<br />
However, less than one day later we have demolished an entire jar - this stuff is so good. I have been eating it by the spoonful whilst writing this up, is that wrong?<br />
<br />
Or perhaps, it just proves my high accolade as the Slutney Chutney Chick.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Apple, Plum, Pear, Quince & Tamarind Chutney<br />
<br />
4lb's of fruit - whizzed up in a processor - skin left on but cores removed.<br />
6-8 Shallots of 3-4 large onions peeled and whizzed up.<br />
1.2 litres of malt vinegar<br />
2lb's of dark brown sugar, muscavado or similar<br />
200g slab of seedless tamarind<br />
1lb of raisins and dates (chop up the dates or whizz-up with shallots)<br />
3/4 cloves of grated fresh garlic<br />
Ground ginger 2 tspn<br />
Ground cinnamon 2 tspn<br />
Ground allspice 2 tspn<br />
A good handful of mustard seeds<br />
A good sprinkling of cumin seeds<br />
An entire pot of onion seeds<br />
<br />
Place everything into the jam pan and bring to the boil, lower the heat and simmer gently for 2-3 hours, stirring from time-to-time until the chutney is dark, thickened and chutney-ish and the vinegar has all but disappeared.<br />
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While warm fill your warmed jars and seal immediatly with a vinegar-proof lid.<br />
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Leave to mellow and mature for at least three months, ahem.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-52033685884946511542012-10-18T10:30:00.002+01:002012-10-18T10:35:16.886+01:00Egidio - My East Timor manI have a new baby...<br />
<br />
Indirectly I have found a new source of mummy-flummery in Egidio, a seven-year old boy who lives in rural East Timor.<br />
<br />
He is barefoot and desperately poor, he is handsome, he is beautifully made and he is very, very cute. This is a child who receives sponsorship from <a href="http://www.plan-uk.org/?ns_campaign=BrandPlan_Exact&ns_mchannel=ppc&ns_source=google&ns_linkname=plan&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=plan&utm_content=sZgYZyIR%7Cgoogle%7C*Brand%20Plan_Exact%7CPlan%7Cplan%7CExact%7C15370731543%7Cg%7C&utm_campaign=*Brand%20Plan_Exact" target="_blank">Plan</a>. And I am proud to say that I am his sponsor.<br />
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Egidio has three brothers, three sisters, and lives in a house with a turf roof and an earth floor, he cannot attend a school as the nearest one is too far for him to travel to.<br />
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Egidio is the same age as my twins and was born just a few months after them in 2005 - their lives, however, could not be further apart.<br />
<br />
I am not allowed to send Egidio books, pencils or paper - although, of course, I desperately want to. I have to content myself with letters, pictures and cards and hope that through them he may have some sort of connection with us, his sponsor family, who live more than 7,500 miles away in Blighty.<br />
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Here he is:<br />
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His picture sits on our fridge and every morning we wish him Good Morning and I look at him and wonder how it can be that we are fat with food and safety yet he will, everyday, be out in the fields helping his parents to farm cassava, rice and other vegetables so that they can eat. He will help fetch water and firewood and will work his little non-existent socks off so that they can survive and prosper in, what to us, seems such a primitive way.</div>
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Working with <a href="http://www.plan-uk.org/sponsor-a-child/" target="_blank">Plan</a> and supporting Egidio, gives my children a unique insight into a life that is so hard to understand. Yet we already talk about and try to grasp what is his life in comparison to ours and it is a beautiful gift for my, very fortunate, family to see this and for us to have Egidio in our lives.</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-23899043899947352032012-10-15T13:58:00.000+01:002012-10-15T14:14:17.526+01:0050 Shades of boredomIs it just me or is <i>Fifty Shades of Grey</i> the most appalling pile of dross yet to make it to such sensational publishing heights?<br />
<br />
Having been brainwashed by a girlfriend, I could only assume that this trilogy; which she could not put down - and, btw, she still bangs on about 'Christian' months and months later - would be unputdownable.<br />
<br />
Sadly not, I keep reading the first book in the hope that the sex scenes might be worth the time and energy I am putting into reading this snogswhiffle, but no, no, NO! she screamed - in utter frustration - it is unprovocative and salaciously, stark - void of any kind of drama and literary edowment.<br />
<br />
The characters are lifeless and one dimensional, the plot is shockingly flimsy and the pace banal... I am left hollow each and every time I pick it up. Although, I feel I should pursue it to the end just for the sake of my girlfriend - my hearts just not in it.<br />
<br />
My heroine <a href="http://www.how-tobeawoman.com/" target="_blank">Caitlin Moran</a>, claimed that despite its petty drivel <i>50 Shades</i> has allowed, and continues to in droves, women to enjoy female porn in a more acceptable way. Yet its not decent is it? Its toss and not even literally.<br />
<br />
Does she have a point though - do women want more feminine porn? Well, yes, maybe they do. Or maybe they don't do. Do you ladies??<br />
<br />
One thing is for sure though, the current copiousness of superfluous pornography in the 21st century is quite literally a tidal wave.<br />
<br />
And horrendously accessible for children.<br />
<br />
They see women with enormous round knockers, pouting lips and ridiculous tranny heels as an ideal, as normal. They watch the way they are treated physically and think: 'this is ok' - and lets face it: that is not ok. <br />
<br />
So does <i>50 Shades</i> have a function or does it just, as in my mind, add to the heap of sordid drivel already over-whelming us?<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-7636566310614528222012-10-12T13:22:00.000+01:002012-10-15T13:21:00.804+01:00Carb it...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Carbohydrates are fantastically dependable
tools when you are raising children.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Potatoes, rice, pasta, bread – each, on
their own, the perfect instant staple – but, when paired with something else,
say…butter – they become altogether more effective, something far more
magical…something delicious. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">My children spent a year at </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Éc</span><span lang="FR" style="mso-ansi-language: FR;">ole Maternelle, French pre-school; this
dousing of a singular Gallic acedemic year </span><span lang="EN-US">left them
bemused and confused by another language and entirely frustrated by the lengthy,
daily, four-course meals they were served for lunch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Much to their astonishment, their French,
three and four-year old, peers took their time during lunch, contentedly
munching away on their salad </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">entrée, followed perhaps by a rabbit stew,
then a cheese course and then a pudding to boot. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">One dish they served regularly was a tiny pasta
smothered in buerre, this simple side-dish was a great favourite with the
children – served alongside meat or vegetables and always eaten with great
gusto. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">I continue to serve this pleasingly simple dish
today, rice or pasta both thrive when introduced to a knob of butter. If you
throw peas in as well – hey presto you have a simple feast, or perhaps the
perfect accompaniment to just about anything and it is whipped up in a jiffy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to roast some vegetables or sizzle some
sausages to proffer alongside. Some juicy greens, a corn on the cob – nothing complicated.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Children often crave comforting, effortless food
after a hard day at school, and as the Autumnal weather draws in so does our desire
for satisfying simplicity and nourishment. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">As seen on <a href="http://www.crumbsmag.com/journal/148_carbs-for-kids" target="_blank">Crumbs</a>.</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-65626864252027801212012-10-03T13:55:00.000+01:002012-10-03T14:03:15.301+01:00Ecargot to go...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
The pinchers squeezed down to grab something in the long wet dewy grass, what in hell is she doing, I</div>
wondered. Dressed in fatigues and clutching a wire basket, the woman appeared in the early morning mist almost as a hunter, but of what?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US">It dawned on me, as I continued my run around the fields, and kept leaping out of the way of the fat, juicy snails that were taking a cooling, slither along the damp paths: a snail hunter – she was a bloody snail hunter!</span></div>
</div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl34L6OE0XeP10mBpMfR-f0kqxNqrgF39b8md0veVOM4ZhUrZgBO-ATH3REPsxY9inpuz561iu55vHKtdcaflvHZkKoGnuuvzAJRhYybF_RfoX7ZEybSjlauwHPy7c10wgqrLjKhL6RNnJ/s1600/photo_6129_20090503.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5467732500091170242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl34L6OE0XeP10mBpMfR-f0kqxNqrgF39b8md0veVOM4ZhUrZgBO-ATH3REPsxY9inpuz561iu55vHKtdcaflvHZkKoGnuuvzAJRhYybF_RfoX7ZEybSjlauwHPy7c10wgqrLjKhL6RNnJ/s320/photo_6129_20090503.jpg" style="float: right; height: 320px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; width: 213px;" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US">Didn’t Elvis eat squirrels? So where do you draw the line? Personally my line is drawn well above snails, although as a child my father educated me in winkles, whelks, cockles, mussels; I adored all things crustacean. </span></div>
</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US">On a Saturday afternoon, when the fishmonger was still an integral part of the high street, my pops and I would wander in and buy a big paper wrapped packet of vinegar soaked cockles and a sack of tiny black winkles glistening in their briny shells. </span></div>
</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US">We would be salivating as we drove home thinking about pulling out those tiny, curly globules of salty matter with our pins and chewing them greedily, possibly with a thin slice of bread and butter on the side.</span></div>
</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
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</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US">Ageing is a strange process isn’t it? Your taste-buds change and develop into new directions. Suddenly sugar-coated, coca-cola bottles aren’t nearly so desirable nor are bright green sour balls the size of snooker balls, in the least bit appealing. </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US">Although twenty years ago you would have seen me, grasping in my hot, sweaty adolescent hand 20p, intent on getting my moneys worth: buying a three-pack of sour balls, enough to last an entire school day and possibly the bus journey home as well.</span></div>
</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US">Yet twenty years on the idea of drawing out that globlet of winkle with the tip of a pin, or chewing on a garlic infused fat French snail leaves me with a slight shudder. A large glass of very dry, cold white wine is appealing, long salty anchovies, hairy and covered in vinegar sing out to me, but green, mouth-choking sour balls? Escargot??…non, non, non - no thank you.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">But hunting snails – it’s no different to hunting deer, rabbits or wood-grouse or fishing for trout is it? I have great admiration for that snail hunter, she was resourcefully scouring the countryside for a free lunch, she didn’t offer to share it with me and nor would I have joined her but those well-tuned French taste-buds had sent her, on that dewy morning, into the world to forage for a great delicacy.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-33523330168313529552012-10-01T10:34:00.000+01:002012-10-01T20:54:12.553+01:00The collapse of the Cauliflower<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrzmFfpLoI7QeMQJ1foPODQbGC_4hXdnWEP5ngZDz8MzRQwsEypwSeVwOggv2fXKjwr0Egb0kl1V4R6uniujnUaSIG21Hvfd0JW03nLZoRAUw0My1jLLzcjn1ax1dP8OinYPEJ4_8YLsqA/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrzmFfpLoI7QeMQJ1foPODQbGC_4hXdnWEP5ngZDz8MzRQwsEypwSeVwOggv2fXKjwr0Egb0kl1V4R6uniujnUaSIG21Hvfd0JW03nLZoRAUw0My1jLLzcjn1ax1dP8OinYPEJ4_8YLsqA/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Cauliflower has lots
its mojo, that certain <i>je ne sais quoi</i> that it had in the 1970's when it
reached its pinnacle and cauliflower cheese was, without doubt, a name that was
on everyone’s lips, literally. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span lang="EN-US">However, according to
recent research, nearly half of households in Blighty didn't buy one single fat
cauliflower last year. This humble English vegetable has become, quite frankly,
antiquated and definitely unsexy. </span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But the fantastic news
is: children love cauliflower cheese! This simple dish is easy to whip up on a
busy school night and serve to the starving hordes after they arrive home,
exhausted and ravenous from school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Finding simple,
healthy and quick recipes for your children everyday is a laborious
never-ending mission that cannot always be achieved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not of the school where you should cook
bland food for your offspring and a different meal for the adults. Who can be
bothered with that everyday? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Knocking out a good,
simple feast at the drop of a hat can sometimes seem mind-bendingly impossible but
cauliflower cheese manages to achieve this job admirably. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Creamy, filling,
fantastic value, healthy, vegetarian and topped with crispy olive oil drenched
breadcrumbs, cauliflower cheese ticks all the right boxes. Serve it straight
from the oven with a heap of hot, sweet buttered petit-pois or a pile of crunchy,
fresh salad leaves adorned with a singing French dressing is, quite frankly,
very sexy, very delicious and healthy to boot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Cauliflower Cheese<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One gorgeous fat
English cauliflower! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">(You can use any other
vegetables for this dish – Broccoli, leeks, courgettes etc. Or a mixture of
them.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A pint of organic
full-fat Milk <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A knob of butter<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A tablespoon of organic
plain flour<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A good grated plateful
of mature cheddar<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A pinch of English
mustard powder or a half a teaspoon of any other mustard I recommend Dijon
whole-grain <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Salt & Pepper<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Method<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Turn your oven on to
190.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Put some water in a
deep saucepan bring to a simmer – drop in the cauliflower florets and any other
vegetables your using. Simmer until the cauliflower is just tender – about ten
minutes. Drain. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Meanwhile, melt the
butter in a small saucepan. When its melted whisk in the flour – to make a roux
– it will seem lumpy – do not fear. Put the pan back on a low heat and slowly
add the milk whisking furiously each time. Eventually you will have a beautiful
béchamel sauce.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Keep the béchamel on a
low heat and add the cheese, the pinch of mustard and a good grinding of pepper
and salt, stirring gently to allow the cheese to melt. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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in a baking dish and smother with the rich sauce. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Rub two slices of
day-old wholemeal bread between your hands to make some breadcrumbs – sprinkle
the crumbs on top of the cheese sauce. Liberally drizzle olive oil over the
breadcrumbs and push the dish into the hot oven. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Leave the dish in the
oven for about 30 minutes it will bubble and the crumbs will toast to a rich
golden and give the dish a crunchy unctuousness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Et Voila! Serve with
hot buttered petit pois or a crunchy green salad. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
As seen on <a href="http://www.crumbsmag.com/journal/134_say-cauliflower-cheese" target="_blank">Crumbs</a>.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-83102989001306110492012-09-28T13:45:00.001+01:002012-09-28T14:06:57.308+01:00How I don't make it workIt appears that the dreaded shrinks, i.e. empty nest syndrome is not just the loss of my baby to school, but the loss of me. The Who Am Me thing is rather getting in the way as I now have...<br />
<br />
an overbearing pressure to: Get.A.Job.<br />
<br />
This makes me feel incompetent - I haven't had a proper job in over eight years. My last job was freelancing in Barcelona - as long as I made enough dough to cover my rent, which was minimal, buy a few bottles of vino tinto, crackers, garlic, olive oil - life was sweet.<br />
<br />
Falling pregnant with twins in Barca sent my life spinning, unhinged, in a very different direction...I have barely looked up since, until this week. But, woooaahh, the view is extremely different.<br />
<br />
The pernicious 21st century idea that women, and men, can have it all, is, quite frankly: a load of bollocks. This anxiety inducing mirage pedalled by the media, consumerism and, quite probably, our own insecure ego is a total pain in the arse - isn't it?<br />
<br />
Everyone feels the same, surely, yet don't we all push on with this corrupt illusion of trying to outdo each other.<br />
<br />
Will jelly-making and washing socks be enough to withstand the outside pressure I wonder...<br />
<br />
Yet, yet, YET. YES. There is the answer: it is <i>outside</i> pressure and I am allowing it to invade my psyche. Who actually expects me to achieve all this STUFF? The beautiful house, the handsome husband, the mind-blowing sex-life, the contented, socially-adept children, the fabulous career and socially keeping up.<br />
<br />
Who expects it?<br />
<br />
Moi.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW9pXJ9aRYSLjAITVGlNLKcSF5P-Fn0Xjku7JR0Hj3Vv_g7OHN-gp7G2xmWhLvad6KsSvHYPb2197CzwM9qvXJ3l435sN8wWCD_z8hCNpXozUUgGKhKCVDSWbihbD7rO0CG5kSz9a8dL3H/s1600/P1020070.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW9pXJ9aRYSLjAITVGlNLKcSF5P-Fn0Xjku7JR0Hj3Vv_g7OHN-gp7G2xmWhLvad6KsSvHYPb2197CzwM9qvXJ3l435sN8wWCD_z8hCNpXozUUgGKhKCVDSWbihbD7rO0CG5kSz9a8dL3H/s320/P1020070.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
And therein lies my problem.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-33127555445231311732012-09-20T13:56:00.002+01:002012-11-16T20:52:53.475+00:00Black me up baby<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Blackberrying is a great way to keep la
offspring entertained on a warm autumnal Sunday afternoon, grab yourself a
basket – if your feeling twee, or a plastic box/bag if your not – jump on your
bikes and get the troops into this fine crispy, sunny weather of September. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVKC2gbTsjC_aW6wDt8z1dPLRJdRHktK_WEsYgKJf1yRkDNWXuMcV1RNvmqcf7YHMmAlVLV58L9k-eeLe1S6Pkqaz9JiVjN2_SGNXU2KjDS0GdW3rntGOE_9S38oNAFsaBveNh2CdUCln7/s1600/IMG_0535.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVKC2gbTsjC_aW6wDt8z1dPLRJdRHktK_WEsYgKJf1yRkDNWXuMcV1RNvmqcf7YHMmAlVLV58L9k-eeLe1S6Pkqaz9JiVjN2_SGNXU2KjDS0GdW3rntGOE_9S38oNAFsaBveNh2CdUCln7/s1600/IMG_0535.JPG" /></a><span lang="EN-US">Children adore picking blackberries – not
only do they get to stuff their faces with sweet, black bejeweled treats they
also unite with their family to collect goodies for everyone to enjoy. It’s a
win win situation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Once home the possibilities of what to do
with your glut of free hedgerow booty are enormous – the one tip is to act fast
– (blackberries don’t keep, but they do freeze like a dream). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Apple and Blackberry crumble anyone? With a
fat blob of golden clotted cream, or a scoop of indulgent vanilla ice-cream to
melt over it? How about throwing them into a blender with bananas, natural
yogurt, a squirt of honey, a splash of milk or soya and some ice – whizz it up,
serve in tall glasses with a straw and feel, utterly, virtuous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">For my family though, the ultimate result
with these juicy babies is to make blackberry and apple jelly. An Autumnal
delight of sweet, translucent scarlet, that has seen me this week constantly
dashing to the bakers to buy bread so that I, well, we – ahem – can continue to
hoover it up without actually having to resort to sticking a spoon in the jar
and sucking on that, which, believe me, I have been pushed to do on several
occasions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This jam is without doubt the best jam in
town, bar raspberry – just. It is incredibly easy to make and the taste
captures the warmth and sweetness of these very English fruits. The one thing I
would advise when making preserves is to make sure you have enough of that
elusive ingredient…time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Jelly is slightly more long-winded than jam
– but it is worth it – and for children, and many adults too, the lack of seeds
and actual fruit pulp makes this much more family-friendly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Apple & Blackberry Jelly<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">A kilo of apples, roughly chopped<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">A kilo of blackberries<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">A kilo-ish of preserving sugar<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Method<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Roughly chop your apples, the fresher the
better, but fallen fruit is fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throw
them into your jam pan along with the berries and about 1.2litres of water. If
you haven’t got enough berries – change the weights and make up the slack with
more apples. This has been a bad year for berries and apples alike what with
all that endless rain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Gently simmer until the fruit is soft and
squishy – about 20 minutes. Get your jelly-bag ready, the stand set-up. Very
gently and slowly spoon the hot fruit mush into the jelly-bag – making sure you
have a bowl or jug underneath to catch the juice. (I have on several occasions
gone too fast with this and the bag has literally exploded sending boiling hot
fruit all over the ceilings and walls – so be warned, go slowly and maybe add a
few extra pegs to keep your bag attached safely to its stand.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Leave the juice to collect over-night. Try
to refrain from squeezing the fruit as it makes the liquid cloudy and you will
loose that beautiful translucent scarlet look that makes this particular recipe
stunning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGUjJS7JvtXyCVciUSdVsTvYqUQhUYpKjlFxcInxMNkS5QvoX012kSxx-5CTq0G18V0_wKAT0MAGzA2iWJ43Hb6y9bgqjoOcWkMIMwLWZ__Xg995ojavt7BMntzel8d4nbPzlp6_lj1Wv9/s1600/IMG_0492.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGUjJS7JvtXyCVciUSdVsTvYqUQhUYpKjlFxcInxMNkS5QvoX012kSxx-5CTq0G18V0_wKAT0MAGzA2iWJ43Hb6y9bgqjoOcWkMIMwLWZ__Xg995ojavt7BMntzel8d4nbPzlp6_lj1Wv9/s1600/IMG_0492.jpg" /></a><span lang="EN-US"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Measure the juice – depending on the quality
of the fruit you should have just over a litre – hopefully 1.2 litres. For each
500ml-600ml of juice use about 450 or 500g of sugar. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Put the crimson liquid into the pan. Bring
it gently to the boil – when it begins to get hot throw in the sugar and stir
until the sugar has melted. Turn up the heat and boil hard for about 10 minutes
– test the jelly for setting point using a saucer (store it in the freezer) if
the jelly wrinkles when you push it on the cold plate – it is ready. Remove the
jelly from the hob and fill up your hot sterilised jars immediately. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">(I find the best way to sterilise jars is
to wash them in hot soapy water then allow them to dry out completely in a warm
oven. Take the hot jars out of the oven as you need to use each one and screw
on the lid as quickly as you can.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Et Voila! Your family-created beautiful
apple and blackberry jelly. Bon Appetit!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US">As seen on <a href="http://www.crumbsmag.com/journal/123_its-blackberry-jelly-time" target="_blank">Crumbs</a>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-63914136953759068862012-09-18T11:19:00.000+01:002012-09-18T11:19:27.203+01:00Empty Nest NIghtmareLast week my baby began her first day of school.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My life just, stopped...briefly, as I adjust to a new beginning, one in which a small person is not next to me in the market, holding my hand down a busy street, calling for me, singing with me, needing me, only me.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And now it is...only me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My loss feels great, I feel emancipated, yet I feel lost and unregulated. Like my anchor has been loosened and cut and I've been left to drift. While my progeny - go on - up in their life. They progress through the system at a dizzying rate leaving me behind far, far behind. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
They are calling me occasionally from the top of their tree - far below I stand, underneath the many branches, the hundreds of leaves, looking for them as they climb higher and higher, faster and faster. Until at last all I can hear is a distant shout.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
They don't need me like they used to. I'll never cradle their baby heads in my arms, or help them dress, sing them soft lullabies, stroke the soft down on their heads. Those days are, without doubt, becoming historical. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My past, their heritage. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Their future lies clear and free. Mine lies quieter, emptier. Distinctly emptier.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBQSeeYxYawJy4UhkZ31_Q35k1hNftMd2sFIF5J-P6DqYzAyd5ASyTos9M41pu4AsnFcR26WydgybmT7yY5-QbwNW92fjlxoneGFTdwbP3lTpOTig5ow7DsTsyz9oQoqVGWL3z-zl3L_dm/s1600/P1030334.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBQSeeYxYawJy4UhkZ31_Q35k1hNftMd2sFIF5J-P6DqYzAyd5ASyTos9M41pu4AsnFcR26WydgybmT7yY5-QbwNW92fjlxoneGFTdwbP3lTpOTig5ow7DsTsyz9oQoqVGWL3z-zl3L_dm/s320/P1030334.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
The tears keep flowing over a week later. In consultation with a girlfriend she suggests I wallow in my grief, write some poetry (see below), watch a heart-rendering film and generally indulge! Allow the feeling of bereavement to be part of my life in order to let it pass. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
Having done this and still feeling bereft I consult my sister, who also happens to be a fantastic homeopath -<a href="http://womaho.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank"> see here</a>. She suggests I take Pulsatilla 200, which I duly take, and followed by a long cycle-ride in the countryside I begin to feel less bloody miserable.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-67712013818653027022012-09-05T14:18:00.001+01:002012-09-05T18:17:47.288+01:00An ode to Boo <i>Bittersweet...is my Boo</i><br />
<br />
That night.<br />
Before this, her socks were laid out.<br />
Folded, and set upon the pile of an unworn future.<br />
<br />
I was waiting for the sun to rise and flout<br />
Her new dawn.<br />
In the pitt of my belly, a caressing stab of nausea.<br />
<br />
She rose, from her bed, her heavenly smile<br />
and full-fat cheeks bright...<br />
With Excitement.<br />
She finally joins the great fight.<br />
<br />
Her new round shoes sit; leather polished, clean and tight,<br />
Stare up at us, waiting, taunting my heart in their new smite.<br />
<br />
Sweet are the plaits that adorn her face,<br />
The pack that clings to her back.<br />
<br />
And this race,<br />
That we're in.<br />
To enter the system,<br />
Of which there is no escape...<br />
<br />
In my mind,<br />
And in truth.<br />
<br />
The road that we all travel begins over again.<br />
<br />
And today it is my own that will walk it.<br />
<br />
Not me.<br />
<br />
Anymore.<br />
<br />
Bittersweet is this moment that scratches my heart,<br />
<br />
And leaves me behind to heal.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWvXrF82YmIvg91a-dAPRDBDnah1i6_GLJcBW0foaUBNl3KZtRRAGUslW_Y4VUkotvKQiTtVHt2zVN0b2At5soQPD4PBroHQnfaXy6qTqMgOTGaODvK3jad9gCNwWB8234607z5ctfqnN-/s1600/IMG_0018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWvXrF82YmIvg91a-dAPRDBDnah1i6_GLJcBW0foaUBNl3KZtRRAGUslW_Y4VUkotvKQiTtVHt2zVN0b2At5soQPD4PBroHQnfaXy6qTqMgOTGaODvK3jad9gCNwWB8234607z5ctfqnN-/s320/IMG_0018.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-80253923342149325292012-07-10T13:00:00.003+01:002012-07-11T16:05:47.669+01:00Tour de Force...The throb and roar of the helicopter silence the crowd as it swiftly rises over, hovering, bee-like above the mountain-side, dangling: pfwom, pfwom, pfwom it thunders in our ears, just metres from our heads.<br />
<br />
From below, curving round the mountain, the sounds of shouts, screams, cow-bells and horns ring out, the crescendo of noise gets higher and louder and closer and closer.<br />
<br />
The gendarme, heavy-blue-clad, menacing Gallic brutes, sit clamped on their fat motorbikes, scream past waving the crowds to stay off the road...<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwuHVZSNM_isydMJB1JSsMVNEVlSpy6WhUVbFquanq7W_geZqwQjFLfZ0OWN-lWYBmLVJXeo8qnpFyAEp5WRSFC-ZZ2OZBDi3nkgXmNfwDTnKlRNbwhT9OuQJGb966z-PPUrIW6FPaCw1M/s1600/TourDeFrance.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwuHVZSNM_isydMJB1JSsMVNEVlSpy6WhUVbFquanq7W_geZqwQjFLfZ0OWN-lWYBmLVJXeo8qnpFyAEp5WRSFC-ZZ2OZBDi3nkgXmNfwDTnKlRNbwhT9OuQJGb966z-PPUrIW6FPaCw1M/s400/TourDeFrance.JPG" width="400" /></a>The mob ignore the warnings and swarm back across the tarmac. Listening intently, staring eagerly. Then through the trees, to the hairpins below - you see them.<br />
<br />
Swift, elegant; a large moving body of sinew and glistening tanned bodies move as one efficient, elite machine. Their legs pumping up and down, their knees moving gracefully, but at electric speed: up, down, up, down: like pistons powering the finest-tuned instrument.<br />
<br />
The stamina, the swift passing bite of pain and raw-energy that surrounds and fuels these world-class cyclists is palpable; you taste their sweat, their heat, their endurance, as they whistle past you admidst the whirl and shrieks of the thousands who bray, chase and salute their lycra-clad heros.<br />
<br />
Then, there are gone, further up the mountain - chasing the screeches and calls of the baying crowds higher-up.<br />
<br />
This is the Tour De France, one of the worlds only free professional sporting events. French, Belgian, German, Spanish, Dutch, Brit, American, Aussie, Slovak, Basque and more, many more, all are here to see their own boys make the grade in this most gruelling of sports.<br />
<br />
And within all this grace and chaos there permeates: bloody, deep, rough gashes, from peloton crashes and road side-accidents, which tarnish the slick, strong thighs; drugs and doping continuously murmur in the underbelly; brands compete for favour and marketing self-abuse in the sponsorship of these human machines; young boys gaze in blind adoration, and mere mortals, clad in identikit lycra, seek to reflect, impress and copy - with not so much as a smear of craft or talent.<br />
<br />
This sport, like no other, is there for the taking...rolling across France, and more than 3,000 kilometres, three weeks of hard-earned pain and beauty all on two wheels - Vive La Tour De France!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-64315718968847187142012-06-13T12:49:00.001+01:002012-06-13T16:50:34.582+01:00Tom Foolery<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He
always made me laugh. A naughty, school-boyish, tomfoolery claimed his
manner. An effortless charm poured off him and sealed and gilded all his
relationships. He was equally as raffish with the boys, as with the girls: this
ease and swagger kept his show rolling – and we all longed to be swept up in
it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Six-foot
four, easy blonde Viking looks, strong wide thighs swathed in tan courdroy,
hands wide, fingers thick – if he clutched your hand his great girth and warmth
offered a security no others could at that stinging moment of palm-to-palm
touch.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">He
loved like an adoring, loyal hound – a surfeit of constancy and devotion that
drew you down and swallowed you whole – emerging together a powerhouse of
victorious love. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">His
office was his van – this white van man – like no other – history, his
cerebral mistress. Yorkie bar wrappers littered the floor, bedmates with empty,
brown-stained coffee cups and red rizla cigarette papers. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Paul
Weller was his hero and to hear him sing Wild Wood from that office window as
it bound down the street was enough to make the girls quiver with appetite.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“High Tide – mid
afternoon, <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">People fly by in the
traffics boom, <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Knowing – just where
your blowing -<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Getting to where you
should be going…”<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I
thought I was blowing along with him – blowing into our future together,
laughing and singing all the while. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But
the shoes, the shoes changed our paths forever. Those shoes, I shall never
forget, nor forgive. They live on in my memory, of my loss.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Red
satin wedges with bows on the top, only a look pulled off by a woman on the
hunt, a woman out to seduce, and, quite possibly, betray, would attempt to wear.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I
saw his office parked on Bow Hill – right at the top – an awkward spot few
parked in, it was so steep – I knew it was his because of the peculiar way the
dust and dirt eclipsed his number plate – and left it TM1.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I
was running late and not expected in that part of town, but I threw my
responsibilities to the wind, in the joy of having an elicit moment with my
wide-thighed love.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">As
I got to the office I noticed it was open but he wasn’t in – his shoes were on
the floor…strange. And so were the red, satin wedges – abandoned, strewn
amongst the male debris.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">My
heart paused, my stomach lurched, looking down through that dirty window at
those shoes almost made me vomit. As my stomach churned, my head raced; I
mentally begged my eyes to stop deceiving me. I stood back – took a deep breath
– then looked in again – they were still there – unfettered from their mistress
– strangling my heart with the lurid fate they offered. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I
heard muted sounds of excitement and laughter emanate from the metal sides of
the van. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I
crept around to the back and gingerly held my pained ear to its door. Muffled
yet certain I heard them – I held my breath – the anger, the hatred, came
coursing through my veins as I stood paralysed, unsure whether to throw open
the doors or to run as fast and as far away from that moment as I possibly
could. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Instead
I went back to the front, I opened the driver’s door as quietly and carefully
as I could – I reached over to the handbrake, grabbed it, pulled it up and then
let it go…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-12144987856257606402012-06-11T12:15:00.000+01:002012-07-15T19:13:19.825+01:00Barbie RhuShe stands out red and well-girthed on the far side of town, her long cheeks rouged and ever so slightly green. All the bugs and slugs under her; a profusion of pests whose days are spent in the seclusion and safety of her wide hips and hairy green leaves - wide, elephantine amongst this small English garden.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4havcxlkKYOZDiEvITjdGrgTnCGUSMhQyQbiNAdJgXJLj0zNp3eKm5jxNmsdtiCeOLvb1Qc_9UqulZs68H1DtR00npxxFOqolyb0c4YZOizMCsB6iIXm6AxyBUvt7tx_GLb6t2zlKL304/s1600/IMG_2649.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4havcxlkKYOZDiEvITjdGrgTnCGUSMhQyQbiNAdJgXJLj0zNp3eKm5jxNmsdtiCeOLvb1Qc_9UqulZs68H1DtR00npxxFOqolyb0c4YZOizMCsB6iIXm6AxyBUvt7tx_GLb6t2zlKL304/s320/IMG_2649.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
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The rhubarb plant is a sturdy gal and one I can neither kill; nor abate her growing fury, despite my weekly random leaf plucking, stalk slashing and general abuse of this well-established, stubborn English maid. </div>
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In my natural joy of owning a healthy plant I decide I must, obviously, do something with the bounty. A ferret on google reveals this simple recipe, much praised and easily produced: Rhubarb and Vanilla Jam.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWSW-Zl-7TV5s-XiXfyXTOi7p9D51l2WQ7YR2QzUGDCDEhFeFcSXUnzEhNvlMpwkI8rUwZn4lC5GGowIEzOnox8VG8ffVgDhml9-5CL6OLyMpWPUWHgpMrwE4WssoSKXvUOvvWS_mmBOqf/s1600/IMG_2650.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWSW-Zl-7TV5s-XiXfyXTOi7p9D51l2WQ7YR2QzUGDCDEhFeFcSXUnzEhNvlMpwkI8rUwZn4lC5GGowIEzOnox8VG8ffVgDhml9-5CL6OLyMpWPUWHgpMrwE4WssoSKXvUOvvWS_mmBOqf/s320/IMG_2650.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
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Equal your weight of barb to sugar - say 1kg of each. Throw it in the jam pan and let the sugar melt, when it has melted add a whole vanilla pod - whip it about a bit and then leave the jam to boil and bubble and furiously become jam - a matter of ten minutes of so. </div>
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I like the saucer test best, to check for jam jammage conclusion, stick a saucer in the freezer - after ten minutes of jamming - drop a few splots onto said frozen saucer and push the jam with your finger tip - if it forms wrinkles its ready to go - if not keep boiling for another few minutes and then try the saucer test again. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBISHlTfYJUMV1RCrPgxsFUO1YqyxaT_idIAbsZxWB5Y4JXuqgpSK95LYVxC8QmzFOBu-72s5nnfyIQnJyARi55YKCU7niamwx7o_SWTulc4fzbiZcUjpXiH7Z8ilma2Qm_Hqj0GANkbJQ/s1600/IMG_2681.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBISHlTfYJUMV1RCrPgxsFUO1YqyxaT_idIAbsZxWB5Y4JXuqgpSK95LYVxC8QmzFOBu-72s5nnfyIQnJyARi55YKCU7niamwx7o_SWTulc4fzbiZcUjpXiH7Z8ilma2Qm_Hqj0GANkbJQ/s320/IMG_2681.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Decant - enjoy.<br />
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Sweet, tart - this stuff is truly gorgeous on hot buttered toast, as a compote with fresh sliced English strawberries, or on just out the oven warm , steamy scones...<br />
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</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-33813456873142089742012-05-17T10:50:00.001+01:002012-07-15T19:27:21.024+01:00Muff Up<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Marker Felt'; line-height: 20px;"></span><br />
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What does the future hold for pubes? Ladies? Gentlemen?</div>
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The word on the street is that pubes are becoming a thing of yesteryear as modern media pushes the youth of today to aim for a hairless, flawless, naked future. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVLPRoyK9PZsthN_LNy4uHDiwjvyXAFJ8kXdi3uTAH-nY7wmKj7RYkZDCUOaj6OARmqzTkE878OCL70pA-y2zkTNGSq_q4fQBdjVubyLvJ5jI9uXpEea-Yb1SdERe3Dn13-zTOYTLyvjjb/s1600/freeimage-1871415.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVLPRoyK9PZsthN_LNy4uHDiwjvyXAFJ8kXdi3uTAH-nY7wmKj7RYkZDCUOaj6OARmqzTkE878OCL70pA-y2zkTNGSq_q4fQBdjVubyLvJ5jI9uXpEea-Yb1SdERe3Dn13-zTOYTLyvjjb/s320/freeimage-1871415.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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Single girlfriends inform me that to own a massive 70's bush is just not cricket and that if your not trimming the minge, or going for a Brazilian, or even a Hollywood - then, quite frankly, your not going to get laid.</div>
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Moran, in her bible <a href="http://www.how-tobeawoman.com/" target="_blank">How to Be a Woman</a>, confirms this phenomenon that girls, yes mere girls not woman yet, feel peer-pressure to have little or no hair downstairs and this, according to a recent interrogation I had with a beautician, is becoming the norm. </div>
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Despite the fact that by law under-16's aren't allowed to have a wax without a consenting adult, younger and younger girls all want hair removal. I kid you not. </div>
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Going on-line reveals a a myriad of mothers and beauticians on forums asking if it is ok to wax their 11 year old's armpits/legs, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEvo6Eau-Xg" target="_blank">this grim video</a> on YouTube shows a mother waxing her screaming 5 year old's eyebrows. </div>
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I digress, because that is, well the States, but is it beginning to happen here - on the island? According to my insider beautician: yes. And she claims its down to shows like The Only Way is Essex screening images of waxing, bikini lines and plenty of slap to impressionable teenagers - they love it!<br />
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But also it is fashionable and topical and these are things that matter - right?<br />
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A small survey amongst my peers reveals that the chicks are keeping things pretty darn trim among their ladygardens - with the majority heading towards a Brazilian - I was, and continue to be, impressed!<br />
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But, amongst the gardeners one digressed and said did I not realise that the men were in on it too?<br />
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Manscaping is the new state of play for gents out there. A brief whisker on google turns up a whole host of manscaping advice, including how to keep you chest, back, bush (yup - it was dubbed bush) and balls either hair-free or trimmed down. The basic premise, it turns out, is that if the boys keep their bush trim, and I quote here: " We all know the shorter the hair is the longer the junk looks".<br />
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So there you have it ladies - it all comes back to the size of their manhood.<br />
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Generally, however hair or no hair is simply a fashion statement; manscaping, Brazilians - its just fashion - just as keeping it fluffy and natural is too - although that is not completely in right now, but give it time - the big bush, for both boys and girls, is an underground movement that is, quite literally, spreading...<br />
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Pea. s - for the record - Chew Bacca is my ideal partner<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-633244062738985373.post-83263736774236922802012-05-10T16:27:00.003+01:002012-05-11T09:26:03.821+01:00Doff your hat gents....welcome to Worsted<br />
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"Hey - MEN out there, you want to bag yourself a laaaadddieee? Yes. Well get you tit for tat on and listen to Worsted":</div>
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<i>"If you want to get a girl - get yourself a hat and doff your way into her heart. The Watson, for example is perfect as a cordial form of introduction, charrrrming young things will be charmed and ripe for seduction."</i></div>
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I had, once again, the fabulous good luck to hear <a href="http://www.worstedmusic.net/" target="_blank">Worsted</a> on la radio - what an insanely fabulogo invention that is - this afternoon and, well, welcome to Doffing my friends.<br />
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Grab yourself the nearest tit for tat - hat - and get it on your head.<br />
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Those lines, btw, were taken straight off the fabulous jazz/latin juices of <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXdBQFBScJ0" target="_blank">Seduction and Doffing</a></i> (click and listen hear) from their album <i>Chapology</i> offers a wildly eccentric and very British take on how to bag yourself a chick. By raising your hat and commenting on the weather or such seemly sentiment and learning the art of behaving like an old fashioned gent you will seduce the ladies through the gentle craft of adroit allurement.<br />
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They were in Brighton last weekend and are coming to Bath for the fringe festival and performing at the <a href="http://www.missiontheatre.co.uk/coming_soon.html" target="_blank">Mission Theatre</a> on Wednesday 30th May. <br />
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So grab your tit for tat and get down there - lets learn ourselves some old fashioned sophistication and a leeetle bit about the great art of seduction...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204316816805609693noreply@blogger.com0