Thursday, May 17, 2012

Muff Up

What does the future hold for pubes? Ladies? Gentlemen?

The word on the street is that pubes are becoming a thing of yesteryear as modern media pushes the youth of today to aim for a hairless, flawless, naked future.  

Single girlfriends inform me that to own a massive 70's bush is just not cricket and that if your not trimming the minge, or going for a Brazilian, or even a Hollywood - then, quite frankly, your not going to get laid.

Moran, in her bible How to Be a Woman, confirms this phenomenon that girls, yes mere girls not woman yet, feel peer-pressure to have little or no hair downstairs and this, according to a recent interrogation I had with a beautician, is becoming the norm. 

Despite the fact that by law under-16's aren't allowed to have a wax without a consenting adult, younger and younger girls all want hair removal. I kid you not. 

Going on-line reveals a a myriad of mothers and beauticians on forums asking if it is ok to wax their 11 year old's armpits/legs, this grim video on YouTube shows a mother waxing her screaming 5 year old's eyebrows. 

I digress, because that is, well the States, but is it beginning to happen here - on the island? According to my insider beautician: yes. And she claims its down to shows like The Only Way is Essex screening images of waxing, bikini lines and plenty of slap to impressionable teenagers - they love it!

But also it is fashionable and topical and these are things that matter - right?

A small survey amongst my peers reveals that the chicks are keeping things pretty darn trim among their ladygardens - with the majority heading towards a Brazilian - I was, and continue to be, impressed!

But, amongst the gardeners one digressed and said did I not realise that the men were in on it too?

Manscaping is the new state of play for gents out there. A brief whisker on google turns up a whole host of manscaping advice, including how to keep you chest, back, bush (yup - it was dubbed bush) and balls either hair-free or trimmed down. The basic premise, it turns out, is that if the boys keep their bush trim, and I quote here: " We all know the shorter the hair is the longer the junk looks".

So there you have it ladies - it all comes back to the size of their manhood.

Generally, however hair or no hair is simply a fashion statement; manscaping, Brazilians - its just fashion - just as keeping it fluffy and natural is too - although that is not completely in right now, but give it time - the big bush, for both boys and girls, is an underground movement that is, quite literally, spreading...

Pea. s - for the record - Chew Bacca is my ideal partner


Blogger Loo xx from Jumbles and Pompoms said...

Well said, yet again, Han. Quite frankly, I find it depressing. Only the other day, My daughter was looking at the 2 strands of hair under one of her armpits and saying how embarrasing it was *heavy sigh*. Do you know that I didn't shave my armpits until I was in my late 30s?! Is that weird? Probably. I was obviously happy to be hairy in that department! I decided to shave because as I grew older I didn't think it was such a great look for me.

OK, too much info. I'll go now. Thanks Han for writing this. V thought provoking. xx

May 17, 2012 at 12:04 PM  
Blogger Han said...

YIKES!! That is bloody awful - how can we teach our binlids the value of mother nature....but still shaving your pits in your 30's is indeeed late.

I grew my armpit hair in my early 20's got to college & was promptly informed by ALL the boys - "shave it off QUICK..." I offended them with my folicules.....but perhaps that shows what a bloody wimp I was by not ignoring them but actually listening and whipping it all off toot sweet...

May 17, 2012 at 12:15 PM  
Blogger Rebecca Sturgeon, International Homoeopath said...

In sunny SA it is all the rage to have no bush, my partner tells me that in France, men shaving their balls is the norm?
I used to go to Virgin Active and was amazed to see the amount of women who wax/shave (even rather elderly women). They must have been freaked by my bush! Ha ha. After reading the fabulous Caitlin Moran "how to be a woman" (thanks for the pressie Han) it is worrying that women think they have to look like a porn star 'down there', WTF. Be organic women/people. Be human!

May 17, 2012 at 2:03 PM  
Blogger Han said...

Thank you WOMAHO for your foreign take on all things muff - Vive la France!!

May 17, 2012 at 4:22 PM  

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